There are only two kinds of emotions – the ones that make you feel good and the ones that make you feel bad. You flow between these emotions many times a day. Most of the time you aren’t aware of the shift from good to bad until you are well into the negative effects. You might have a headache or sore shoulders that seemed to come out of nowhere. Perhaps, all of a sudden, your stomach starts to churn.  Before you know it, you are yelling.

I’d like to help you be more aware of the shifts, so that you can consciously stay in a place that feels better.

Imagine that there is an elevator that takes you from emotion to emotion. Ride it to the basement and you come out at fear/grief/depression/despair/powerlessness. A trip to the penthouse brings you to joy/empowerment/ freedom/love/appreciation. Most people live in the middle floors, riding up and down from optimism to disappointment, from worry to contentment, from doubt to belief.  You might find yourself on the overwhelmed and frustrated floor yet with some attention and deliberate action, you can hit the UP button to the floor of eagerness and happiness.

The idea is to get to a floor/emotion that feels just a little bit better than where you are. Don’t head for or expect to get to the penthouse instantly. That’s setting yourself up for failure. First, be aware of and name your emotion. For practice, many times a day, ask yourself, “How/what am I feeling right now? What words would I use to describe my mood?” Does your emotion feel good or bad? If you answered bad, you can get into the elevator and ride up a few floors.

First though, you’ve got to stop any downward movement.  Whichever emotional floor you are on, stop and take a deep breath. Look around and find something — anything — to focus your attention on. Perhaps you can pick a color and find everything in the room of that color. This is a distraction technique, and it stops the elevator.

Here are some ideas to start the slow ride up, floor by floor:

Do you have a pet? Go pat it.

Smile. Even if you don’t have the desire to smile, the action of pulling back the corners of your mouth raises your mood.

Hum – anything.

Take some deep breaths.

Start your next thought with “Wouldn’t it be nice if_____.”

Pull out a memory that makes you feel good.

Take a few minutes to sit quietly and meditate.

Check which emotional floor you’re on. Remember, your goal is to feel just a little bit better. Rage might feel better than fear, anger better than rage, frustration better than anger, pessimism better than frustration, hope better than pessimism.  You get the idea. Every time you come out of the elevator, you’re on a higher floor and your body, mind and spirit will feel a bit lighter.

Notice this feeling and remember how you got there. You did it. You took control of your emotions and deliberately and consciously manifested an upward shift. You can do it again and again until you start to live on the higher floors most of the time. It’s your finger on the UP button. Press it wisely.

Living Law of Attraction

Have you said or heard – “Can’t you try to lighten-up?” or “Just think a happy thought and you’ll feel better.” or “You are what you think.” These are well intentioned words but are hard to hear when you are in the middle of a hard time. Understanding the principles of Law of Attraction may help.

Law of Attraction says that “Like attracts like.” or that “What you focus on you get more of.” Nice words but what do they actually mean? Let me start at the beginning.

Have you ever had a day when everything went just right? You got that check in the mail you were waiting for; you were running late and you got all green lights; you finally lost those last 5 pounds, all in one day. When you are feeling joy, you put out certain vibes. Your spirits are high and you feel free and expanded. Everything, everybody, every emotion has those vibes too and when your joyful vibration lines up with other vibrations of the same resonance, there is an attraction. Like attracts like. Your happy thoughts attract other people who are also happy. Emotions are the key. Your feeling of gratitude for your good fortune attracts more good moments in your life. Your feeling of love and pride for yourself attracts other opportunities for you to shine. What you focus on, you get more of. Taking a moment to review your day at bedtime and focus on your wonderful moments, thoughts and emotions will set you up for another great day tomorrow.

Consequently, have you ever had bad day that just kept getting worse? You say you try hard to turn your day around, but nothing works. Your mood is low and you don’t see how things could ever get better. Looking at your day from the principles of Law of Attraction, it all makes sense. Unhappy, stressed, angry emotions give off vibes too. They attract other unhappy, stressed, angry thoughts, events and people. Remember, like attracts like. The more you focus on the bad day/week/ month/life, the more you focus on the repeated feeling of failure or lack of joy, more of the same will come your way. Feeling lighter or happier seems so foreign and far away. So, what do you do?

Remember, emotions are the key. If you could bring a thought into your mind that feels just a bit better than the one you just had, you’ve raised your inner vibration a little. I’m not saying go from despair to joy in an instant, that sets you up for failure. Try to find a general feeling of satisfaction or contentment. For example, bring forth the memory of how you felt when your child did something nice for you, or when you buried your toes in the warm sand at the beach, or when you got an A on a paper. Keep these happy memories in your back pocket and pull one out when you need to raise your vibration. Law of Attraction will go to work and bring you more better-feeling thoughts. You might keep something tangible nearby, something that reminds you of a happy memory. You might keep it in your pocket or possibly hanging from the rearview mirror. Every time you see it or feel it, you are transported to the moment from your past that felt good, opening the door for more moments that feel good.

Law of Attraction is always turned on. You attract negative thoughts as easily as you attract positive thoughts. Now that you understand this, can you be a bit more aware of your thoughts and emotions? Now you know that whatever you are feeling will continue to attract similar thoughts and feelings until your vibration changes.

You are the deliberate creator of your life. Your bad times are not your fault; they are times of lower vibes within you. You probably came by them quite understandably; now, do you want to stay there?

Your awareness and willingness to reach for a better-feeling thought will pave the way to a better-feeling life.

You have the power, use it well.

Tips for Attaining Personal Goals

Do you daydream? Do you set goals for yourself? Do you want something new – different – better?

How’s it going? Have you achieved these goals? …..  No? Why not?

Setting goals can be a fun exercise; you get to envision a new and improved life/event/body/relationship. Your visions always feel good, you see the bright side of life.

Unfortunately, too many times, your goals don’t come to true. You say “I tried so hard but I couldn’t do it, or maintain it, or find the time, or I was too scared to even try.” You failed and it doesn’t feel good at all.

What happened? Here are 2 suggestions on how to actually achieve your goal.

1. Did you set an attainable goal? Something honestly within reach?

For example, if you wanted to start going to the gym, did you say “I’ll go every day or even 5 times a week for 1-2 hours a day”? If you tried to maintain that schedule immediately, did something else in your life suffer? Since you didn’t go 5 times a week, did you feel you failed and quit going all together

That goal was a big commitment, like going from 0-60 in 10 seconds. You expected to change your life, fairly drastically, overnight. Could you start a bit slower? Set aside 1 hour, maybe 3 times a week for 3 weeks and see how you might need to adjust other the other parts of your life to accommodate your new hours. Get used to the new routine then, increase the amount at the gym slowly, keeping it in balance with the rest of your life

Before taking on a big change, it is helpful to experience some measure of success first. Be proud and build your future goal from a feeling of accomplishment, not failure.

2. What frame of mind were you in when you set the goal?

There is a big difference between setting goals from a feeling of joy and anticipation rather than from a feeling of guilt or trying to prove something

For example, suppose you want a perfectly manicured yard with beautiful flower beds because your dad always had that, only to find that it takes a lot more time and energy than you had thought. Time that you’d rather spend elsewhere BUT your father did it so, what’s the matter with you?

You were trying to live your dad’s life and not honoring your own path. That’s not fair to you or your dad.  Your talents grew into something very different yet, equally as honorable as your father’s. What do you want to create? How do you want to bring beauty into your life, on your own terms?

When you start dreaming your own dream, it’s got a much better chance od coming true.

3. How will you know when you’ve attained your goal?

Right from the start, write down, as clearly as possible, what result you are looking for. Do you have a certain weight, measurement that would thrill you to attain? Do you want to be able to run a half marathon in a certain time? Do you want to send your manuscript out by next year? These are tangible results. How about emotional results? Do you want to speak up for yourself within your family about a certain subject? Do you want to say no to someone without guilt?

How will you feel when you have reached that goal? Happy? Proud? Lighter? Envision that outcome right now so that it will be familiar to you when you actually get there.

Have fun with your goals. Dream big. Get excited about the outcome and, the how’s and where’s will seem to take care of themselves.